i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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