I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i used baking grease as lip gloss
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
