They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
