the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
