i permit you to call me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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