This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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