I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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