You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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