Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
