Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
