So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
