hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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