Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
