Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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