8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
