Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
