I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Operation Purity has been aborted
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
