Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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