her vagine was all disorganized.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
