why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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