member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
