Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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