We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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