I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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