he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
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One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
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He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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