This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
