Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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