I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
