Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
