i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just googled if crying burns calories
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
