There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize