Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
