i permit you to call me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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