Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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