I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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