You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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