Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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