just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
