Your tits are I can't wait for
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
