anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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