I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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