I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
