I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
