Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
