Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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