so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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