Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
