Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize