I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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