I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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