No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
