I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
