i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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